Så här kan det se ut när man jobbar sig fram ihop med ett bilderboksmanus. Med andra ord säger redaktören: "Det stämmer fortfarande inte riktigt men fortsätt fnula lite i den-och-den riktningen så säger jag till när det funkar".
Öh, och jag har också fått tillsägning om att skära ner textmassan per sida till ca 15 ord max (i bilderboksvärlden vägs och vrids varenda ord, varenda kommatecken - "tyvärr hade jag inte tid att skriva kortare" heter det ju).
Passar fint ihop med min redaktörs sista synpunkt också. Inte.
"I really like what you've done, it reads well and the structure
holds together nicely. I definitely think you should go ahead and sketch -
and do let us know if you'd like M [designern, min anm.] to send type and/or sample layout ideas.
I suspect there will be some further adjustments to the text as we
progress to this next stage but nothing that should affect the pictures.
One comment I do have at this point is that I think you have slightly thrown away
the ending, it is a great opportunity to really underline that X is now
getting true recognition and praise - something along the lines of (at the
end of p 11) the children all said how much they hoped X would stay,
how much they needed someone just like X. Then on p 12 it could just
bring in more emotion (stating the obvious I know but leaving a good warm
feeling), something like; 'so X thought about it and decided that this was
a good place, a place where he was really needed. A place that he could call
home. And so he stayed'. (that's probably a bit too much but hopefully you
know what I mean...)"